The scale said 142. *sigh* getting better. It stopped going up. It has started to go down.

However...I got a lot of looks at dinner last night when I didn't finish my food and it took me so long to eat. Their family eats a lot of food and they always finish their plates. ALWAYS. I however had food on my plate when I was done. My mum to be was looking down at it and back up at me again...but didn't say anything.

Come on! What's so bad about stopping when you are full? Of course I have had so little in the past few days I get full a lot quicker.

I was supposed to have this morning off...but I came in anyhow becuase I didn't want to think about food.

I was supposed to go to the doc yesterday, but the canceled on me. Dr garton got sick. Then dr. wigby my shrink got sick too. So I will see garton on monday and wigby in mid January. Yeah. January. WTF? Yeah, almost 2 more months. I am not sure who needs mental help more...the people that think that crazy people can just "hang in there" and wait months at a time to see a shrink....or the crazy people that are friggin stuck.

I could go see a psycologist through our employee assistance program, but that won't do me much good. The last one told me I had too many problems and she didn't have time to help me.

Oh well. I'm not exactly going anywhere. I know it sounds so stupid but I don't want to work on the ed yet. I'll deal w/ everything else but that. Why not? BEcuase I am not small enough yet.

If I get small enough I will actually be able to hide under the bed when I get scared.

-pb

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