I didn't get to meet w/ my boss after all. But that's ok. I know it is for review because I saw the manila folder. But it will be fine. Not that I get any raise or anything. I�m not due for one of those till august, and I will be leaving by then. Besides, it�s $20 a month for a raise. What kind of raise is that? That�s about 12.5 cents an hour. Hmm�Not much of an incentive. But then we aren�t paid hourly here.

Have I ever told you how much I hate the RIAA?? Yes, I hate them. In fact, before all the crap about lawsuits came out, I never d/l any music. Now I do it just out of principle! I hate the RIAA so much that I don�t even listen to commercial radio. If an artist is worthy of my time, and makes enough decent songs to warrant having a cd, then I may buy it. Then I have the perk of the art inside�which I always enjoy. Plus If an artist is any good I will want to go to their concerts, I will buy their teeshirts, and I will continue to be a walking billboard for commercial amercia. You get my point? It�s about the art�it�s about the music�..it�s not about the money. Besides, artist don�t get jack shit from cd�s when it�s all said and done. I need to get some of those nifty RIAA stickers w/ the red slash through them.

So that was one rant! Heheh. Still haven�t managed to pick up that food diary again. I even have 2 options, the on on my desktop, or the hard copy in my purse. However, I am not yet interested, but I think about it at least. Guess that is step 1.

I was talking to Jeff Last night on icq. We were talking about weight. You see�he and I are incredibly alike. He is the male version of myself. Despite the fact that he has lost some weight, he still feels that his weight is an issue. Mostly it�s all left over from the days of school bullies. I�m the same way. Think about it�fat boys are lumped together with the smart kids, the nerds, and that kid no one ever likes. Fat girls are left to be with the female versions that I just listed. The fat kids don�t� get picked for teams at gym, then on top of that get teased for not getting picked. The fat kids are never comfortable in the child sized seats and desks supplied to us. They only emphasize the obvious. Are fat kids ever popular and well liked? Pretty much only if they place themselves into the butt of every joke.

We were talking about how we feel about our bodies�and I was thinking about how I will feel when he sees my body. It really shouldn�t be that big of a deal right? I mean�literally hundreds of people have seen my naked body. (I go places that allow nude swimming.) But when it comes to intimacy it is different. It�s one on one (generally) and all the focus is on each other. But you know what�.with Jeff I don�t think I worry so much. I do a little, but I know how much he cares about me. In my heart I know that now matter how much I am repulsed by my body, he will probably still think I am just fine. I am sure that will be the case.

He is worried about his own body as well. Yeah, men have body issues too you know. They are more like women that some men will ever admit. Although I don�t� know what his body looks like, I know that I will love it. I will love it because it is his. I am very attracted to him, and he could weigh 100lbs more�and that would not change a bit.

MmM. I look forward to the day I get to be with him . He is super duper swell!

pb

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