1st entry today

The weekend was pretty groovy.

Saturday I woke up at 6:30 and decided to go for a walk. There were so many squirels out! IT was absolutly darling. I also cleaned the house, of my own free will. Now that is amazing. Well I didn't vaccuume. B did that part. I hate the sound of that evil machine. I guess I'm kinda like the cat. *HISSSSS!* Makes me want to run away and cover my ears.

Later that night Claire and I went out to polly esthers. she looked darling in her Billy Idol shirt and I had on an animal rights shirt w/ a gorilla. I altered it with some of my fabulous ingenuity.

Funny...when a guy sees two girls holding hands or with their arms around each other, it's as if their brains go numb. Like this one dude...he came up to us to dance. He looked like moby. HE was being all robotic and such...in that geeky cool sort of way that I like. He asked me where our boyfriends were. I told him that she was my girlfriend and he went wide eyed and pointed back and forth as if he could not comprehend it. he nearly fell down when she grabbed my hand. Gee wiz and we didn't even kiss or anything. She is improving at her faux lesbianism. However, it's becoming more and more PAINFULLY obvious that she is woefully straight. Sure she loves me very much, and I know that she can love women quite deeply, but she doesn't have any attraction to women. Damn.

Sunday we went to her aunts house for a birthday celebration. Twas cool. We sat and chatted w/ her fam and all.

I was pretty low yesterday, but I got a bit better when I went back to her house and we watched SpaceBalls.

Today I went to a podunk town to pay my way out of that dang speeding citation. What a rip. And worst of all...my own procrastination caused me to have to drive there. YES....DRIVE. I was on the road from about 7 till 2 today. There and back. The only stops I made were at the Justice of the Peace office, 1 stop at the bank to get money and money order, 3 potty breaks and 2 gas breaks. *sigh* suckage.

So what's left on my plate for the day? Well my poor boss...her mother died this morning. I am quite sad for her. But she will be out all week. :-(

I am hoping that tonight will include ample amounts of affection and possibly some amourus attention. I haven't gotten any nookie since he last went all out. Since then the well has been dry. And That was like a week ago right?? Grr. However he has been much much better at hugging me, or planting kisses on me, and doing cute things for me. I'm so much of an attention hog. And I have been a wee bit low today too (I think Im just being moody) so I want want want. As much as I do enjoy b's affections, and enjoy the sex (well I enjoy that some of the time) it's as if he can't quite scratch the itch....quench the thirst....No matter how much he does, I am always left wanting more.

It's becuase there is something missing, he meets a lot of needs, but not all of them. I love him quite a bit, and I enjoy time with him. I like that old familiar "comfortable" feeling that we have grown into but we are really missing something. I am missing something. A big something.

In other news....I got to talk to my dad today :-) Yay. I always enjoy that. Also Jeff called me during a break with the band. He's working with a really kick rump group. It's really his last big recording project before he goes to writing full time. I do love it when he calls me. We are so far apart...when I hear his voice we feel a few miles closer.

-pb

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