<< I'm not thin...it's an illusion >>
2003-03-26, 3:16 p.m.

Ahh..went for a great massage last night. Was wonderful. I just know that is the key to keeping my headaches away for good. If only i could afford it. I wish it was covered on my insurance or something. I get so much tension in my shoulders that I get a headache. Last night I could feel that Danielle was tryign to get those balls out. I call them crunchies. They are knotted little balls of tension on your muscles. You can feel them kind of pop when you pull your hand over them. Hate em. But I feel great today. I may have to bite the bullet and have one every other week or semothing. The stress between my business Lovelorn Fashions and my regular job kills me sometimes. I think that I can check the budget and maybe Lovelorn can provide it. We will see.

Been a dandy day. Been working my rump off.

Food eh. ok. I am back to 134. WHich could be worse couldbe better. had grapenuts w/strawberries for breakfast. was going to possibly allow myself a slimfast round now, but stagg bought me a sprite earlier...which I drank. Those damn things have 140 cals in there! So there was no way I could have the 240 cal slim fast.

So I am still a pill popper. At least 5 days a week I am taking diet pills. I don't on wknds only becuase I would be frsutrated. I would have energy and he would have none. I am trying not to eat on the clock at all. Still doing the fitday thing. Need to remember to put a link in my template for that.

I am a little concerned about going to my parents in april. I know kathy will tell me how "skinny" (in a good way) I am. WHich is attention I don't like. I don't like anyone to talk about me being thin. I feel its not true...yet true. I want to say.. that my face, neck, and chest are really thin...but look at my bell! Im not thin. It's just an illusion. I jsut don't want them to talk about it at all. Grr. Grr. So I may avoid wearing anythign but regular tee shirts...like band shirts and stuff. They all have a crew neck and won't show my boney body. Plus all of mine are big...so they wont think about my size much.


-perfectbone

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