Whew! What a funkyfied day! The day has been blowing past me in a whirlwind! The phone is ringing off the hook, the clients are coming in like mad looking for answers to questions. I feel so bad when I get someone from another country becuase they really need more of my time than I often have to available. I like to be able to really explain to them everything they need to know about opening their daycare or homecare. I use a dual left & right brained approach that seems to make them quite comfortable and sometimes I get scattered juggling so many people at once that I lose it! Oh well I still do 10 times better than most around here.

Yesterday was smashingly fantastic! I did some shopping last night and it was an excellent ebay shopping night. Found some ruffled frilly socks for women. Some incense to sell, and scrapbooking stickers for those crafty freaky types. Then I went to another store and found 3 wonderful LuLu items. Oh what a deal! I am piling up the money for scotland. Still so far away from my goal...i feel like the money is just dripping in...but even if I am making baby steps...at least I am making steps right??? I jsut have to keep on moving.

Well I did so good yesterday. 2 bannanas, 1 bowl of grapenuts (w/o soymilk) 1 little single serve cup of apple sauce (50 cals) and one boca burger patty plain. This things have like 90 cals and like 1 gram of fat. I was so proud of myself.

Again today I am flying on coffee and diet pills. I forgot what a wonder drug coffee is. Really suppresses the appetite.

Need to go to the post office during lunch today. mailing off my high heeled combat boots. I didn't wear them much. Just to a few speech meets back when I was in highschool. I used to wear them with this cute suite and It gave me a real empowering look when I was standing infront of the room. Like maybe I should have been cracking a whip or something.

But I tell ya...a girl like me does not need heels. No sir-ee-bob. Nuh Uh! I am a clumsy gal. I can fall when just standing up. And it never fails...its at the wrong moment. Take yesterday for example. i was wearing this cute lavender skirt...a killer black top...and cute black strappy platforms. I looked great. I was walking down the isle of the store past these two guys that were staring at me...turning their heads as I walked by...and then I trip over a toy in my way. Lucky for me I didn't hit the floor or anything. Then later that night you would have SWORN that I was a blind chick becuase my cart was hitting every single rack in the store. Thunk. THunk. THunk. Thud. Crash. Bang. Bong. You name it. I also hit a ladys leg...but she was to busy arguing with some guy to notice. Ah well.

So I woke up at 132. How the hell does that happen? i did get on the scale before bed (night is always higher) and it was 138.4. This morning it was 132.0 Somehow in the night as I slept I lost 6.4 lbs. Sure I went potty...but just once. I didn't have 6.4lbs of water in my bladder this morning. Hmmm...I may have to rethink this whole sleep thing and do it more often.

So I was talking to Alice, my roomie this morning. She went to lunch with our boss the other day and she wast talking about how she got some new clothes...new shoes and stuff. And he said..."you know who needs some new clothes, (place my name here)" And alice was astounded. She said "no way...she has TONS!" Which I do. The thing is...for example...for work I have 4 pairs of black pants. I like black pants....they are all different cuts...different materials...all different. To him they are all one pair of pants. Plus I have kakis, cords, like 6 skirts I wear, 3 or 4 pairs of different slacks some plaid some solid. New clothes...thats a want for me...not a need. During my weight loss sure I had a hard time with clothes...I was loosing a size every 2 or 3 wks. But I have plenty in my closet to wear now...and even a few things as I lose a little more weight. I buy somethings small in anticipation of more loss. Gee. It kinda got to me though. :-( Its kind of a childhood complex ya see.

I was very very poor during some phases of my childhood. For example...during 3rd grade I was living w/ my mom & stepfather. I don't know if mom was even working back then. I broke open my penny bank once to get a school tee shirt becuase I was so proud of my school. I couldn't afford the adult size that I needed (I was a big 8 year old) so I had to get a kids large. It was skin tight. I still wore it proudly.

Then in 4th grade I lived with my dad and stepmom. SHe didn't know the first thing about buying clothes for a girl..she only had boys.

5 & 6th grades...well we didn't even have running water most of the time when I lived with my mom. I had so few clothes....but living in that area the other kids were usualy in the same boat so I doubt no one noticed. In 7th I moved back to dad and stepmoms and my dad got laid off. Money was tight. In 8th I learned to make my own clothes.

Well anyhow enough of that...I never had many clothes and now I really over do it. Infact when I first started working, I would go shopping all the time for clothes...instead of washing half the time i would just buy more. So it really bothers me when anyone thinks that I might not have enough. So silly really....guess it's just the insecure little girl within right? We all have that little girl inside worried that the kids on the playground won't like her...worried that maybe no one likes her new dress.

Oh I got a note from fat bride to be and I wanted to say thanks! I check out all the gals on my fav list all the time. One sweetheart is in high school and slowly dying. Of course I worry about her...but will she listen? No...she can't not really. It's not fully possible for her to just stop. I can't believe that her parents haven't forced it on her. In some weird way you come to love some of these people like sisters. You cry for them, you hurt for them. We share very intimate details here in this anonymous forum. I never really say my name becuase it is very unique and if someone tries to google it...it will come up. Thats why I took off my messenger id's.

Well cya girls

-perfectbone

<< welcome >>