Man...been a tough morn. Having some fine motor skills problems. Grr. I hate being such a putz. It was so hard to buckle my shoes. I hate trying to carry coffee. And I get over stressed really quickly.

The scale said 138. I have gained a lot of weight due to my inactivity. My metabolism is so screwed up that I can gain on less than 900 cals a day. I don't know how to handle this. Life spins so quickly sometimes. I hate that I cannot even fully depend on myself. I do not have the patience for some of teh callers. I just cannot focus. And it is frustrating when I try so hard to keep speaking and keep my thoughts coming out so that I sound normal. You see...I lose tempo. My speech gets broken. SOmetimes I lose thoughts mid word. I hate sounding so ignorant and stupid. I just want to scream sometimes "I really am an intelligent person! My iq is 148! I just have some mild brain damage! Please understand...Im not an idiot!"

<< welcome >>