Yeah....pre-cancerous cells. Sucks huh? Well When I was 17, I had cervical cancer. They removed the cervix through a leep procedure and I was fine. i have been checked out again and again and all paps have been fine. In case you didn't know the cervix grows back...like when a starfish loses a limb. But when it grows back its all scar tissue. So I had an abnormal pap as they call it. mild displasia with pre-cancerous cells. I won't be able to get in to get it all fixed up for about another month. Grr.

All I can say is why f*cking me? Don't I have enough wrong with me? hypothyroid, eating disorder, whiplash, post concussion syndrome, migraines, constant kidney and bladder problems, depression, and all that barely scratches at the surface. I'm getting tired of it. I have a lump in my breast too. But I haven't told the doctor about it. Why? Why? you ask? Becuase I am sick and tired of tests and pills and all that. Since my insurance changed at work these medical bills are killing me. Pills are much pricier and visits are worse. In the past thirty days i have spent more than $300 on doctors and pills. I only bring home $1200 a month! I work full time and make decent money for a chica w/o a degree. I want a degree, but it's a little tough to get when you are forced to work full time & spend your off hours resting enough to work the next day. I have no money and I don't need more debt.

Lets not talk about this anymore. I don't want to think about this anymore. I'll start crying again. Next month I'll be working on getting a car, Sure I am looking fwd to the prospect of a new car...not the payment of said car.. tho. I'm still driving my moms car that I brought up from del rio. the lincoln has its problems. Im afraid its going to keel on me.

Ok..positive things? I have lost 10 lbs since monday. How? beats the F*ck outa me. I think that my thyroid is starting to function agian. im still not back to my prefered weight. 5 more lbs till I amout of absolute stunning fear zone.

well me and my cervix are going to go. I'll let ya know how my ct scan went as soon as I get the results. ok?

-pb

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