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2004-05-18, 10:08 a.m.

1st entry of the day

I have been busy since I got to work, but then again, isn't that what work is for?

We got a bunch of new phones to give away, funny thing is, they were all evidence in drug trials. How's that for amusement?? Hell some of the phones are better than mine! Go figure.

I got a lot more ideas for my tent. I need to draw up a plan and figure out the size.

Last night I did some painting. For some strange reason I really enjoy the smell of the paint. It doesn't kill your braincells or anything, well at least not this paint. Just regular acrylic artist paint. I also love the smell of dark room chemicals....but I'm just funny like that.

I have been getting more and more depressed lately, I wish i knew why. I don't like being this way becuase I want to be happy. I dont' know why I get so down...I certainly don't want any more drugs, but there are moments when I am a mess (again). Even if I don't mean it, I must tell myself that I am going to or that I may as well kill myself....and I say this upwards of a dozen times a day, maybe two dozen???I don't count.

I was getting dressed last night to go to the grocery store and I hear this sound *gag* *hic* *gurgle* Yowl* *bleeech* and Jura pukes on the bedroom floor. Poor kitty. I have the worlds only bullimic cat. She runs (read: Waddles) into the other room to gorge on food, eats too much too fast, then pukes. She isn't sick in a way that can be fixed or anything. She once had her body covered in motor oil, and it seems that it has caused some horrid problems that will be lifelong. She has a tender tummy, allergies, and get this, her nails still secrete motor oil! The vet said that some things like that really mess up an animals body. She is sooo dang cute though...the only cat I have ever had that likes to be used as a pillow. Last night I fell asleep with one cat under my head...the other purring on my belly.

Happiness is a warm purring kitty.

-PB

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