2nd post today

I'm a paranoid person...I didn't know that till recently. A few months ago maybe.

I remember being paranoid as a child. Shrinks ask the question "Do you think that people are talking about you?" I never thought about it much, but I did.

I always figured people were talking about me...was it paranoia? Some nights I would keep my ear to the wall, thinking that someone in my family was talking about me. It was terribly bothresome.

I'm paranoid at work, that someone will try/is trying to get me fired. That someone is just waiting for me to mess up. I'm always thinking that some people hate me or dont like me.

Isn't that weird?

I don't get paranoid about the government being out to get me (what would they want with ME?) but I always figure there is more going on than meets the eye. I'm not wearing a tin foil hat or building any bomb shelters. I don't think that people can read my thoughts (but sometimes I worry that maybe i'm wrong.)

I don't like my thinking...not at all. I didn't stock up for the whole Y2K thing...i wasn't the least bit worried. I don't think that the world will come to a crashing halt during my lifetime. I don't ever think that I am being followed, or that there is a conspiracy by the fbi to steal the insoles of my shoes for testing. (hehe)

I don't think any of that...I get paranoid about the "normal" types of things. Or I think they are normal. People talking about me, trying to sabotage me, people trying to trick me or decieve me.

Yeah, I'm taking my meds. I know I'm a little wacked. I'm bipolar, maybe a little paranoid...but what if it's all real? What if I'm right?

Over the weekend my Lamictal dose was doubled to 50mg. My mood is fine...I often find myself thirsty though.

I never get paranoid about what you people think of me...but I get worried that someone I know will find this.

-Perfectbone

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