<< Got to have my suffering so that I can have my Cross >>
2004-07-23, 8:04 a.m.

I'm not feeling too hot today but I look good if nothing else.

I went to bed early last night so that I could get some more rest. B asked me this morning "why aren't you going out at night? I thought you were a party girl now." that was a gentle insult, but I told him that I don't have to go out all the time. I wanted to sleep.

I've been looking for a savior in these dirty streets

Looking for a savior underneath these dirty sheets

I've been raising up my hands

Drive another nail in

My poor kitty was in dire need of love this morning. He wouldn't stop crying. I felt awful about it, but he is a very whiney baby. If it were up to him, I would spend all my days with him and never leave his side.

I stopped by walgreens this morning to see earl. I tried to call him yesterday but he was still sleeping at 6pm. he works graveyard shift. I spoke to Erin (his roomie) and she said she would have him call me. He did...but I was asleep by then. He left a msg. He seemed standoffish at work this morning...but it could be becuase his manager probably doesn't want him to be all touchy w/ the customers. He did however ask me to come over this evening.

And nothing I do is good enough for you

Crucify myself everyday

I crucify myself

My heart is sick of bein'

I said my heart is sick of bein' in

Chains

I went grocery shopping yesterday. For the single gal. It sure is liberating to buy just for me. Things I like...such as flax toaster waffles, Amy's tofu breakfast burrito, 1,2,3's Mac & Chreese, and Okra. A cute cashier opend his lane for me...he saw me waiting. He liked my shoes. I was wearing my cute Kabuki shoes. They are oriental style black wood shoes that have the two blocks on them, then on strap over the foot and one strap over my big toe. They are pretty spiffy.

Got a kick for a dog beggin' for love

I gotta have my suffering

So that I can have my cross

I know a cat named Easter

He says Will you ever learn?

You're just an empty cage girl if you kill the bird.

I spoke to claire yesterday, and they are switching her from welbuteran to prozac. IT's good, the wellbutran wasn't working for her, and she was on the max dose and still crying every day. She's gonna have a tough time swtiching over, I know...but she will get better. We didn't talk about the lie I told about where I was going earlier this week. We didn't need to. I know she still lvoes me and understands. I love that girls so much it hurts. Sure her and I joke about being old lesbian cat ladies after the guys die off....but I love her so much. Not so much in a romantic way...but in that way like a sister. *sigh*

Got enough guilt to start

My own religion

I'm feeling pretty darling in a punky sort of way. I have nothing left to lose at work, so I left my tounge ring in, wearing a bicycle chain bracelt, black fishnet hose, my biggest black platforms, and black top and charcoal skirt. Boss isn't in today anyhow. Gawd, i'm friggin 24. When are we supposed to "grow up"???????? I mean, I know I am more "adult" than I was at 20, and I know I am a grown up...but at what point do you stop liking the same things? I mean...will I ever stop liking platform shoes? Or glitter nail polish? Beaded curtains? Chinese lanterns? I remember when saturday morning cartoons became less important. THey used to be the end all be all of the universe...then it became less important. Maybe becuase I was recovering from hangovers on saturday mornings at the tender age of 9?

I put in quotes music from tori. When I am having a funky time in life...I listen to "Little Earthquakes" by tori. That album was like a huge release for her...she was able to get rid of a lot of emotion and pain. So when I am in the middle of my own little earthquake...it feels so right.

The song mentioned here is "Crucify" by Tori Amos.

-Perfectbone

p.s. I might be changing my layout soon...with all this disruption, I think I need a little bit of a symbolic change.

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