<< Missing him >>
2004-08-19, 5:12 p.m.

i know that no amount of antidepressants and mood stabilizers will make me feel better about the break up. I took apart our bedroom altar today, dividing the things that belonged to me or him. I took my quilt off his quilt rack. I cried. I laid on his bed, clutching a pillow from the bedset I picked out for us. Laying in the dark. Thinking about all the times we made love in that room. Thinking about the mornings I would lay awake as he slept, watching him breath. How I would wrap my arms around him and kiss him gently awake on weekends. How I would bring him iced tea when he would mow the lawn. I was thinking about the first ritual we performed together...and the night when he got his second degree, how we made love so sweetly.

There was a lot of bad things that happened...and I don't want to be with him anymore. I just miss the good times we shared.

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