Icky pooh, yes, ickypooh is how I am feeling.

I have been low lately, and I hate it. The jobless thing is getting to me. It get's to me that I don't even know what the date is or what day of the week it is. I have to keep asking people. I'm bored becuase I can't go out and do anything, and I can't go out and do anything because I am broke.

Between my last bits of money and my parents, all my bills got paid this month. However my car still has expired registration. I pray every day that I don't get caught, that I will be able to get that taken care of once I get an income again.

I have an interview tomorrow with an equine hospital. I know shit about horses...but I know office stuff. Sadly after that interview I have to go to the public assistance office. I have to suck it up and pray I get approved for some temporary relief. Given the stats that they provide on the internet, I should qualify. Between having bipolar disorder and being without an income...if they could just approve me for food stamps, I would be thankful. At the very least I could go buy some food. Sure I have SOME food. I have been chipping away at it slowly. There is popcorn, a few more veggie burgers, some canned beans, a large container of rice, and half a jar of peanut butter. However, No fresh fruits or veggies, and I am eating the same things again and again. But I'm not without food...which is good. I think my step dad will be coming to visit soon, and mom will send food with him. I hate to go apply for public assistance, but if I don't do it now....who knows how long I am going to be jobless at this point? Plus if I apply for assistance, when it comes time for me to need more medication, I will automaticaly be approved due to having jumped through the hoops already.

I'm tired, the house is a mess, I'm lounging about in sweatpants and an oversized teeshirt. All I want to do is sleep and cry. it might be my imagination, but my cat even looks depressed.

My throat is so very sore today becuase I scratched it up with my nail. it's been so long since I have made myself puke, that I forgot to even trim my nail first. silly.

All I want to do is crawl back into bed. Just let time pass while I am sleeping...and maybe when I wake up, it will all be better again.

B hasn't slept here for two nights in a row. I think he is staying with that nurse girlfriend of his. It's depressing when he is here, and depressing when he's not.

I think I am just going to go crawl back into bed for a while. Maybe I will feel better when I wake up.

perfectbone

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