had a rought morning to start.
Just a little rough. Not horrid though.
My car broke down while I wasvisiting my mom. So I had to drive back in her car. Can't say that I mind though....it's a 2003 focus. Those things are fun to drive and they get great mileage.
Anyhow....working on my weight. I seem to be stuck in this rut....with far too many clothes that DON'T fit. What I really really need in my life again is a gym membership. I miss that. I would go to the gym as a way to "get away" and have some "me time." Not that I am in great need of that, but I think it's important to devote time to one's self. Besides...I love when I feel strong and healthy.
Earl and I are doing ok. I got pretty well ticked yesterday. You see...still no job for him. He does some work....but I am hard to please. I know it...and Ihave high standards too. I'm very spoiled. NOt only do I want him to bring home money, but I expect a clean house. Now here is when it becomes funny. I wanta clean house...but I wish he were the kind of clean that b used to be. B was a super tidy man. Everything had to "look" perfect all the time. I kinda got used to that. But you know, I just don't have the kind of motivation it takes to keep that up.
TO be honest with you...as bad as it sounds...I'm pretty happy as long as everything smells right. And by that I mean...litter pans must be done about every day...trash taken out regularly...dishes done...bed changed weekly...towels and clothes washed regularly...and nothing growing anywhere it shouldn't be. Clutter I deal with...though i think it's really doing some bad things in my life.
You see...I'm kind of a feng shui kind of girl. Clutter in your house is clutter in your whole life. And I aim to rectify that this weekend. Both earl and I are planning to freak out on the house...clean and scrub from top to bottom. Organize.
Today earl took the car because I got ticked last night. I flipped. Like I said...I have high expectations and he has been out of work for far too long. I CAN'T support two people, but I have had to try. (side note...when that boy does get a job....his whole paycheck is mine.) Well I am rambling...so what's new. Yes he took it becuase I said...take a dang job...go apply at Taco Cabana or the dollar store or something. ANything. Just get some income.
You see...if he doesn't have a job by the 15th of this month....I have to move by Jan 1 to some place much less cool. And much cheaper. I won't be able to afford the place any longer unless he is contributing.
I get so torn you know...he's good for me in many ways, but I get stressed becuase of money. Bill collectors call me a minimum of three times a day. I almost never turn my cell phone on anymore. I have had many long conversations with him about the subject of him not working. I explained to him that I have given him this opportunity to find work becuase I belive in him and see the good in him. I told him that I see that I am getting the crappy end of the deal but that I belive in helping people and giving them a chance. I know that people in his life haven't given him very many chances and I think he deserves one.
Anyhow...I'm tired and I have work to do.

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