Ahh. So yesterday was fine. A little achy though by the time I got off work.

We went to the inlaws for dinner last night. Since they were having hamburgers, I had a garden vegan patty. I like those things.

So Yesterday:

1 bread w/ p-nut butter

1 bowl cheerios w/ water

3 small pretzles

1 small apple

1 garden vegan burger

1 small serving of fries (baked..but still bad for you)

1 glass of peach and strawberry smoothie

Could have done better. Last night I was in a lot of pain so I got up since I couldn't sleep. I ended up binging on 2 spoons of p-nut butter and a hummus and olive sandwich.

I go to see a shrink next week. Looking fwd to getting that squared away.

The new kitty is doing quite well. She hates that I have to give her medicines three times a day in her mouth, eye, and on her back, but she seems to love me anyhow. Zen however has not warmed up to her yet. They are STILL at odd. I am sure he will get over it eventualy.

I wish I could exercise..I wish I could go get a gym membership. But I guess it would be a moot point. It hurts to walk from my car to my office. I have so little energy that I am ready to zonk out around 8pm. I keep telling myself that things will be so much better when my thyroid is fixed. I hope so. If they get that fixed, and help my depression, then I only have lupus stuff to deal with. The problem is...all my illnesses overlap...so it is difficult to figure out which symptoms are coming from which illness. Such as depression? Is it thyroid? Maybe, maybe not? Pain...which auto immune disease is it? So it is a little weird.

One day I will be able to run and play. One day I will be able to lose this weight. You know...I am still stuck at the horribly sinful number of (gawd it is so painful and difficult to admit this) 147. I have been stuck here for about a week I think. I have only lost 3 lbs since I came back from scotland 10 days ago. As little as I eat...you know...take a man off the street and tell him that he has to live on my menue for a day and he will tell you to go to hell. Today he packed me 12 mini pretzles, 1 grapefruit, 2 carrots. However what I actually had for lunch was 1 carrot, and my usual round of suppliments (1 flax/borage oil pill, 5 super green tabs, a woman's multi-vite, & 1 calcium.)

Well...I have rambled enough for now. Oh have I mentioned this co-worker of mine? Well he just started the 1st..and he sits right outside my cube. Well..he is nice enough yes...but he has a horrible terrible laugh. No not a laugh...more like a cackle. Sometimes I avoid telling him anything funny at all....to avoid that shrill horrible cackle. His voice is normal. Just his laugh is off.

-PB

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