4th entry today

Ah, so i feel the afternoon fatigue taking hold. Soon it will be time to leave :) I will then walk out that door, down the hall, swipe my badge, walk through that door, push a security button, then walk out that door to freedom! Off i will go in my kia. I have to make some stops on the way home though. i am trying to remember where all of the mailing places are. The post office will be closed. There is also a high chance of being spotted at my fav local mailing shop. Gee...makes me feel like I am having an affiar or something! ;-) Of course I must use cash...can't have that showing up on my bank statment you know.

It is somewhat amusing at times...the hot conversation just feet from b...typed out in icq. Calls at work or those moments when I am alone. Emails flying back and forth for our eyes only.

Although I feel bad for b. being on the unknowing end of this, I hate that Jeff is so far away and has to wait while I am with someone else. I know he cares a lot for me, but who is it that I am coming home to right now? Who lays in my bed at night? B. That's who. But only becuase it has to be that way for the moment. It is that or never see a dime from that man. But we have it worked out...August. August Jeff can come claim me. My heart doesn't belong to B anymore anyhow. Sure I care for him still....but I am lying when I tell him that I love him.

We are so close...so close to being together. 10 years after first meeting! I shall leave B alone to his computer girls....I want a man that wants me. A man that sees who I am and what I am really about. A man that won't ever hurt me. A man that will be honest with me. A man that will return my kisses, not rebuff them. *wink* I've got just the man in mind!! Jeff!

hehehe.

In news that is NOT six foot three and topped with masses of curls.....I spoke to alice today! Yeah...alice is my previous roomie. She called to find out what herbs to use on her bladder infection. That's my realm...herbs, rocks, and all things natural and magical. She may be catholic, but she is hispanic catholic. WHich is a whole other realm really. They don't got to hell for consulting witches.

She said her kitty girl had an eye infection...dunno why she didn't take her to the vet! She made her wait it out. Just like when Lucia (the dog) got this big sore on her side....she lost all her fur...was really weak too. I LOVE animals. But I had to put my foot down...I was taking on too much of her responsibilities. I fed the dog, groomed her, walked her, jogged her, talked to her, played with her. Poor chow chow is bored to tears!

I told her that Im leaving b, and such. She told me that I shouldn't be hasty. That I should only postphone the wedding....as everyone is entitled to a few "mistakes" and that he would settle down now that we are together. Her dad cheated all over her mother...had another woman for years and years. Apparently she doesn't get it...it's not the girls...it's the lies. Constant lies. Again and again.

Ah well...she's happy that I am going to go to art school though. :-)

Off to waste some more time on the govmn't tab!

PB

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