<< What a girl wants, what a girl needs >>
2004-02-03, 12:20 p.m.

3rd entry today

I was talking to my sister last night. My sis is pretty darn super cool, in fact, she helped raise me. I can't say she did a great job of it, but hell she was just a child too.

I was kind of preparing her a bit for the coming months. She knows I am leaving b. She knows I am going to IN. She knows I want to go to Herron. However, although she knows that jeff and I are talking....so far as far as I have gotten isn't as far as I would like. I told her that one of my reasons for moving back to IN is so that I could get to know jeff better. Yes, that is true...I will get to know him better, as we will be living together.

Then we also were talking about other reasons I am leaving b. More than just the cheating thing. I explained to her that I can't see myself with one man the rest of my life. I explained to her that I can't give up women. Simple as that. (she kinda knew...but didn't seem to really "get" it) She and I had been talking about the way that women bond. She was telling me about her sister in law telling her that she loved her. We were talking about the way that women love each other so intensely, and sometimes it goes beyond friendship. I told her how frustrating it is that I cann't get everything I need from just 1 man. or just 1 woman. In the ideal world...I have both, no lies...not behind anyones back. Just honest. I want to spend my life with the man I love and be able to have a wonderful female friends here and there w/ the perks of kissing and sex, and fun.

So we were honest about everything. I told her that I knew for certain when I was 11, but I had a clue long before then. Back when I was still kissing shannon under the covers in kindergarten!!

She admits that she is attracted to women as well, but to a much lesser extent. I think that she is the kind of woman that prefers men, but if a woman came along, and gave her everything she gets from Chris, the added female sensitivity too! she would end up a lesbian. She would turn all around and never look at men again. But she is all cool w/ it. She knows that I have had that kind of relationship before.

But what I haven't told her is....that I want to be w/ jeff. I want to spend the rest of my days watching the sun rise and set with jeff. *sigh* how nice.

But I am prepping everyone slowly. One thing at a time. That way they won't be too surprised. Funny though....to jeff and I being together seems to be the most normal and obvious thing on earth!

he is such a gem...sometimes I am just so amazed that someone has not snapped that boy up already. Lucky for me he is probably the pickiest boy I have ever known. And when I say picky, I MEAN picky. he knows exactly what he wants and what he likes. Refuses to settle for less. W/ all the criteria...odd, I'm a match. You know what??? He fit's my list too. And I have some really picky points. For example...A man must have great eyes...must be able to drum (yes, a MUST)....has to love his mother...be willing to give me 1 or 2 children (eventualy)...put up with my bad singing...think that I am the most beautiful woman ever. and so much more!

Can you believe I have lost my mind over that kookie guy that I used to chat w/ when I was 14?

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