I wish I had something really important to say this morning, but I am not sure that I do. Just sitting here, fiona apple is on. It's all rotating on media player.

I have to go see the therapist today. Whoo hoo. Well at least she is cheap now. I guess there ARE benefits to being mentaly ill. ;-) Since i have the official diagnosis of Bipolar, I think it's like 18 dollars a visit or something. Down from 30 or something. SO that's pretty swell! Now if only they would keep discounting if for every mental illness that you have...becuase I am sure that I have several. I have many ocd traits, the ed, oh and we can't forget dermatillomania. yup.. that last one is a fucking bitch. I wish I could be a nail biter or something other than a skin picker.

Seems that i have to destroy everything decent about myself. If there is a decent feature...you can bet I am going to attempt to disfigure it in someway. i think that is the deeper meaning behind many of the self destructive habits that I have taken on and dumped through the years.

Why do we do this? I know I am not the only one out there like that. I know women are particulary prone to it. DOes it merely stem from low self esteem? Hmm. Gonna have to think about this one.

Maybe tomorrow.

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