<< Icky day >>
2004-02-19, 11:00 a.m.

2nd today

Feeling a little unlike me right about now. Not sure why. Maybe it's becuase i have been so rushed today.

To be honest, gosh I hate this job. I hate putting on this smile and jumping up an down, and being so gawd damned dependent on pleasing everyone. I have to set an example every day...in dress...attitude...skill...profesionalism...you friggin name it. Then I have to make sure that all the people I serve are happy. On top of that, I have to be the gentle calendar girl becuase the supervisors are even more irresponsible than I am. I am first on call when something breaks. I am the girl they call when they need computer help. I am the girl they call when they need someone else called.

I do everything including keep my nose firmly between their buttocks. Honestly...it stinks.

Sure it pays pretty well...but screw this! They may like me and think that I am the greatest peach pie in U.S., but all I want to do is scream "LEMME OUTA HERE!!!!"

Enough of that. I am sure too many people out there suffer from job dissatisfaction. Big whoop.

I'm not depressed today, but I know something is still off. I have that underlying feeling of wanting to die. I think that life sometimes seems really overwhelming and big. Don't get me wrong, I'm not holding a noose or anything, heck, not even eyeballing the rope! Life does scare me though. It scares me to think that I might have to keep my nose up someone's ass till I retire.

I think I am just being bitchy and moody from lack of sleep. Eh, could be. That and collin and robert are both having a crappy day too. If I could, I would go home, crawl into my comfy, cozy, super fluffy bed, have a good cry and then start the day all over again.

Bah.

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