<< Shh....I know it's only in my head >>
2004-02-10, 1:59 p.m.

3rd entry today

The day continues to drip by, rather slowly I must say. My boss has been busy all day as usual. Diffusing one situation after another. Sometimes I wonder why she is in that position. Sure she can do it...however, it kills her. She works so darn much.

Poor jeff is still sick. He has been sick since sunday night w/ a stomach virus. The doc gave him some stuff but the poor man is absolutly miserable. He is trapped somewhere between the bathroom and the bed.

As for my the continuing saga of my non-existent sex life...we are currently at an average of once a week and it shows no sign of getting better. This morning on the way to work, I was consumed with terribly wonderful fantasies about jeff. I know that when we get to be together at last in august we will be so starved for each other! I do want to take my time though. I want to linger over every inch of his body as if the world might come to an end tomorrow. Ok...I must get my mind off of sex.

SO! My art project got started last night and it is doing so incredibly well!!! I am quite impressed with what I have developed so far. I have also come up with some new techniques that I haven't seen done yet. I am very excited becuase I got some things from my mother sometime before yule, and I kept them...even though I wasn't sure what to do with them, NOW I know!!

My sister and i are very close considering that we are 10 years apart. The funniest thing happend yesterday to us. We were chatting on the phone and talking about art and such. I asked her if she had seen the site papercandy.com. I had seen that site that day and I thought she might like it. Turns out she found that site yesterday too! I was rather surprised. Sadly for her, she is fighting a bad case of insomnia lately. Insomnia is a cruel mistress. She takes and takes and rarely gives. I suggested she try ambien since it does a great job of quieting your mind down. That's the best part...becuase I know she has a terrible time w/ a racing mind.

Next monday our office is closed and I get the day off! Whoo hoo. Yay for presidents day. My mum will be in town too and she and I are going to run around and do "girly" stuff. I think that I am going to tell her all about jeff that day too. I may have mentioned him to her, but now I have to come clean. Tell her how I feel about him...tell her that he feels the same. Fill her in on all the details about him, what he is like, what he does for a living, what he wants to do with his life, his hobbies, personality, and such. Then I also tell her that he is going to help me move, and then I tell her that not only is he helping me move, that he is helping me to move in with him. I know my mom will be cool with everything, that's why I am telling her first. DAD...He will be the last. He knows I am an adult, but he is going to think I am crazy.

The way I figure it is....brian and I waited through 2.5 years of dating. Did that help us work out as a couple living together? NO. I have known Jeff a lot longer. I started talking to him 10 years ago. and number 1, jeff is a good guy, right to his heart. And unlike anyone else I have ever met, he really understands me. And as crazy as it sounds, and even though I haven't seen him w/ my own eyes in over 5 years, nothing in the world has made more sense. Nothing in the world has ever felt this "right." I don't take change lightly, and I don't just pick up my life and twist it around for just anyone. IT seems scary, seems crazy, but I have never been so sure about anything in my life.

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