<< I lost a couple of lbs. :) >>
2004-01-14, 12:16 p.m.

I went to two docs today, the therapist & rheumy. Best set of lab results I have had in a long long time :) My BP was a low but fine at 100/60. I'm usualy about 112/70 or so...but still good.

I think I will like this therapist...she is kind, firm, and damn it she made me cry already!! We were talking about my dad and his lack of emotional displays. I can see already that I am going to have to deal with so many things...things I have put off for most of my life. The horrific stuff *shudder* not gonna think about it now though. Nope, not gonna do it.

It is interesting that my file networked between my shrink and therapist,since they are in the same office. I am surprised that she didn't bring up the eating thing. I know the shrink wants to talk about it next week...but I am pretty sure I am not up for it. I really don't want to deal with it now. I feel like I have much bigger pressing issues. Like my urges to run away to some other city in like california or something and leave all the docs and medicine behind and just be crazy. Or the fact that I still have that horrid vision of stabbing myself in the chest whenever I feel upset or guilty or sad. I think those are bigger deals. esp since I am not at a dangerous weight or something...docs really only seem to care about that stuff if you are at a low weight.

I did drop just a tiny bit. 141.2 this morning. Gawd just to be out of the 140s again...get this cloud out from over my head.

I saw Daisy last night, and her stitches look terrible..but she is such a trooper!!! She was walking around and asking for love, and taking her doggie pain killers like a good puppy! I am praying that she doesn't get an infection. I love that lab so much!

Other than that, Brian and I spent the whole evening on the computers. me talking to jeff and him working on his Empire of computers. He got it up and going. There was a moment when our MP3 drive almost gave out...he broke out into a sweat!

The rheumy is giving me steroids for 2 weeks. Hmm. Not sure how i feel. I haven't decided about them. I really don't know why he did it, and I am not sure I really like him. His collegue seems much cooler.

So yesterdays food went ok:

-Cereal w/soymilk

-2 Rice cakes

-spaghetti & canned green beans

Today:

-1 bowl oatmeal w/ molassas

-1.5 carrots

Don't know what is for dinner yet, but polenta sounds nice.

Ta-ta!

PB

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