The weekend was pretty darn uneventful. I stayed i fridaynight and worked on my sculptures till about three am.

Then on v-day (funny that you can shorten it to VD, hmm?) B woke me up to give me my gifts. Then he went out to breakfast w/ his dad. I got up around 11 or 12.

Later I managed to drag him to the park. I thought it was going to be a happy go lucky time tromping through the trees and leaves. But he had another plan. he wanted to talk about "us." *sigh* well I could have broken it off right then and right there, but it isn't the time to do that in the grand scheme of things. The strongest point that I will argue when it comes down to it is the monogomy card. All other things he will dispute and get angry. He will dispute his physical interest and remind me that there is more to a relationship than sex (duh, I know that!). HE will dispute the fact that he does not support my dreams. He will start going over ways to fix things. However, w/ the monogoamny/non-monogamy card, there is nothing that he can change. HE can't fix that one. So that will be the number one breaker. That's what we spoke about anyhow. He wanted to know if I really want to marry him. I told him that I am working on that in therapy, and that I hadn't decided if that is the best thing for my future.

he however is convinced that I am the ONE. that I am the best thing for his future. That he is meant to be by my side for life. Yet he knows that he doesn't fan my flames. He knows that I feel lonely. He knows that I cannot be myself w/ him as much as I would like to be.

So anyhow....that was VD. I spent monday w/ mum and that was a BLAST. I got to tell her all about jeff and she was so excited for me. She was also quite relieved that I would nto be leaving all my belongings behind....also that I would have a place to live when I get there. Before I even told her that we plan to co-habitate, she asked me if he and I would consider living together. So I told her, "oh yeah, you know, that is really a good idea. I am sure he would definitly be in favor of that!" hehehe. But she loved the idea, and things he is super.

Then I spent the night puking up my guts...and not by choice mind you. I HATE being sick. all the rims of my eyes are red and blotchy. It looks awful! The Chinese buffett killed me!!! SOmething was amiss! i am sure of it!

So I didn't got to work yesterday, which is why you didn't get an entry.

I have some interesing topics coming up today that I would like to discuss, time allowing. Be sure to check back in.

In case you are wondering...yeah, I'm still fat. Nothing has changed in the past 4 days.

pb

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