1st today

it will be another super busy day here at work. yesterday my head was spinning by the end of the day. I have been doing so much I can't even begin to tell you! But there is still a lot to bedone...I have all these new assignments waiting for me...whew!

Last night I went to PNO, pagan night out, and had a pretty Ok time. Eric and his wife were there...that was great. We like eric. :-) Eric is probably one of the hottest pagan men around...every woman has always wanted him and he previously was a bit of a man-whore. But who can blame him? Anyhow, I am so happy that he found a really really wonderful gal. Oh she is a doll!

SO, I ended up counseling a weirdo last night. His name is david. I am a loser magnet and he is a looooooser. Gee. he is a 1st class loooser. At least most losers that have stuck to me have been semi-intelligent, however this one has the IQ of a loaf of bread.

Poor guy has been brainwashed by the church. Some scary crap. I have never seen the damage first hand. So now I know those stories are true.

anyhow, here is a rundown on david. first of all the physical-he has add and depression.

history: Mother was abusive and regularly beat the fear of god into him, and frequently told him how bad he was, and what a sinner he was. One church he went to brought out some (alleged) "repressed memories" about being sexualy abused by his father as a 5 year old.

Currently he is 28, a virgin, attends a conservative Episcopal church, has trouble keeping a job.

Future goals: Find a "perfect 10, or at least a 9 1/2" that is a 34 C, physicaly fit, blond haired/blue eyed, willing to author some books with him, will allow him to be a house husband (despite the fact that he will only microwave food), will take care of him, protect him (physicaly), is strong, will dominate him, keep his life in order, be open to "swinging" with him, and enjoys jesus.

Are you laughing yet? Dear gawd. NOW get this, he came in search of a witch to do a spell to help him out with all this stuff. However, he and I had a long talk about that, and I explained to him that it could only complicate things more. That first and foremost, there are stepst that he needs to take for himself before he can even consider other things like a perfect wife.

He lacks self esteem and confidence. And he has been trained by the church and by his mother to feel extreem guilt over anything pleasureable. For example: He told me that he is addicted to p*rnogr@phy. I asked him to tell me what made it an addiciton. He told me that he liked to look at it, and sometimes see pictures or videos. I then asked him if he ever stayed home from work to do this. "no." he said. I asked if he has ever neglected his family becuase of this. "no." he said. Have you ever neglected friendships becuase you would rather be looking at it? again "no." Then i asked how often he does this. He told me that he does it about 5-6 times a week. I then explained to him that he likely did not have an addiction to it, however, some churches feel that viewing it at all, constitutes an addiction. I told him that LOTS of people do this. Lots of people feel good doing this. And I told him that if he isn't doing anything illegal, and it isn't getting in the way of his life or anything, he would be fine to do this.

Oh and here is another thing....He feels horrrendous guilt becuase he "pleasures" himself (I'm avoiding the google monster). I asked him why he feels guilty. "becuase it is a sin. I pray to god and I tell him how sorry I am, but I keep doing it." I told him that it is perfectly normal and natural to do this. Even babies touch themselves becuase it delivers a pleasurable response from the body. I reminded him that he is human and he was created by his god, with all of these hormones and natural urges. He was created to be able to feel pleasure. I told him that he wasn't hurting anyone or himself by experiencing a release in his tension.

He would say "sorry" everytime he would say something that he liked. For example "I like the incense and the bells at churge, and the mystery of it all. I'm sorry." "you are so pretty. I'm sorry" and so on.

I asked if he has intentionaly remained a virgin. He said yes. Apparently it has been ingraned into him that if he has sex before marriage he WILL get an STD. He said he was told that condoms are a trick and they don't work. I told him that I have had sex before marriage on many many occasions and that I do not have an STD. He was SHOCKED! I told him to read the condom box and when used properly, they are quite effective against almost everything (Except HPV, but I wasn't about to go there!)

He is so pent up that he even asked if he could kiss me. I told him that I wouldn't and couldn't do that. (he thought jsut becuase i'm pagan that I will do anything with anyone.) He also asked if he could see my bre@sts. I said no, that I was not about to lift my shirt to him in a cafe. Then he asked if he could just touch them. Again, the answer is NO.

This guy is MESSSSSED up. He needs help. He needs confidence. He needs therapy. I suggested he stop seeing his pastor for counseling, and start seeing an outside therapist and a psychiatrist. He doesn't need any more so called morality drilled into him. I think that's half his problem. He hates himself for wanting things, and liking things. He has become twisted and warped in so many ways that he may never recover.

I hate to say it, but he might be better off submitting to a hardcore conservative church, supressing his desires, and marrying an ugly, domineering, uber xtian woman. Otherwise, I worry that all his pent up issues will lead him to do something horrible like stalk, or rape, or molest or something.

WHo knows.....you guys have anythoughts on this? I have his email addy, and I am going to pass him some advice at some point...feel free to email me w/ the link at the bottom.

-DR. Perfectbone

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