1st of the day

Today is going so well! I decided to change my morning routine just a bit.

I usualy wake up, eat, lounge, shower, fuss, dress, drag my feet, then go to work.

However, now i am waking up, taking the ritalin, showering, eating, dressing, going to work. NO FUSS! I didn't fuss one bit. I did't get frustrated over everything.

That's a big thing for me, the frustration. i blow up over little things. I would not say that I am an angry type of person, but I can get so frustrated that I blow up. I might yell at my cat if he won't stop bitching (just think how I would be w/ kids!!!), I'll throw things if my hair won't cooperate. I cry if I can't find clothes to wear (from 2 friggin closets!) and so on. Worst of all, I am really a morning person. I just don't deal well with the pressures of time. however, when I do take the medicine, I focus and complete the task at hand. I had no idea that some of those symptoms could be covercome w/ this medicine. I always thought it was part of my bipolar. But then again, the bipolar meds never even touched my unending frustration, lack of concentration, scattered world.

Ahh. Happy.

I go see the shrinkydink today too. Gonna go begging nicely for more meds. I want to either be able to take this stuff 3x a day rather than 2 or take something else. This stuff only works for 4 hours, if that!! That doesn't even get me through a whole work day and the drive to and from!

Everything else is swell. Well...sorta. I ended up binging on some cookies on the way home from work yesterday. damn it. I gave the rest to brian so I wouldn't finish them. Of course I didn't tell him why I even had them, or why half the pack was gone. ick. Then I got up at some point in the middle of the night and binged on cereal. Damn it. WHat the hell!!! All I remember is shoving handfulls of cereal into my mouth while sitting on the couch. What was up with that??? Why did I do that?? I wasn't even coherent!

BAH!

But I am not going to let that ruin today. Today is another chance...another opportunity. I can do this.

pb

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