1st today

I woke up with a lot of pain this morning, but I'm not sure why. My back, and neck are all crunched.

Yesterday, despite horrible feelings, I managed not to purge. I don't know how long it has been now...a month? maybe a bit more? But I'm doing ok. I have the hardest time when my stomach gets full. I ate 3 servings of pasta last night. Far more than my stomach could ever handle. Then a muffin. I managed to distract myself with a movie all evening, so that I could not focus on my stomach.

I'm feeling icky about myself lately....feeling "fat" of course. That makes me sound like such a whiney girl. No one wants to be that girl. I don't think this way for attention, I really do see myself as very very fat. I am too afraid to weigh myself. I'm not healthy enough to face those numbers.

I really need to make sure I exercise more.

Oh well...gonna go bust my rump to work now. Plenty to be done... so little time.

-pb

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