So the weekend went ok. Not great but ok.

Friday I was exhausted by the time I got home. Then I attempted to clean, but my whole body ached. I felt awful for not being able to do more...with brian scrubbing away, a heavy sigh and a glance my way every few min. I know he was frustrated with me. It was a hard day, and I couldn't move fast enough to please him. Dinner that night didn't help either.

We went to dinner w/ his parents at the same old chinese buffet we always go to. I picked my way through a few pices of broccoli and cabbage...but mostly picked up rice one grain at a time with my chop sticks. I just wasn't hungry...and besides, it was too much work to lift my hand to my mouth. And Katie was going on and on about HER wedding plans..and how she has it all figured out. One problem chica...he hasn't asked yet. (sadly he will soon...at my house on thanksgiving. Grr)

Claire came over after I cleaned a bit to help decorate for the party. She also took me to the store to get some fruit and stuff becuase I couldn't move enough to drive.

On Saturday I tried so hard. brian had to go take Jura to the vet (she has ring worm, eye infection, & parasites) and he had to go bbq some meat for the party w/ brandon. So I was home trying to cook and clean and what not. It was quite draining.

I was at the lowest of the low...trying so hard to call brian becuase I was in such dispaire..I didn't know what I was going to do...then his parents showed up. I was horrified. I was wearing a sloppy XL flannel shirt and some jeans. I had to pull myself together and invite them in and act like a person that hadn't just been thinking of a noose.

Claire came and I got dressed then I had to deal with the whole party thing. It was fun...I guess. I tried my best to just sit there mostly. I was so tired. By the end of it all I had to have a nap. I slept for 16 hours.

Sunday we went shopping, which was fun. Stuff for future partys, christmas ornaments, table cloths, napkin rings, we bought some pretty crystal wine glasses...what a deal too.

Last night when I was over at claires watching Carnivale on HBO, I ended up really drunk. I intoxicate easily. 1 glass has me wobbling, 2 glasses has me in the hole. I mentioned that I didn't have any dinner that night. And she told me that I need to feed myself more food. I was so drunk that I told the truth...I told her that I woudln't feed myself any more than absolutly needed. She tried telling me that I am sick, that my body needs food, but I put her off...telling her that maybewhen my medication was under control I would think about it.

Ah well. Whatever.

I'm tired again today. Didn't sleep too well. I might take a nap during lunch. not sure...maybe ;-)

pb

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