So today is pretty spiffy I guess. I now have plans for both saturday and sunday.

Sunday will be the best though. I am really looking forward to the Medicine C@dle (bit o' google proofing.)

This ritual will really help my life so much. Last time I asked for wisdom. I was whacked for so long with events to inspire my "wisdom," things to teach me, to train me, to prepare me. Lets review the results (in no particular order) from the last time I went to this ritual:

-Find out trish is pregnant, boyfriend cheats on me, I become maiden of the coven, my friendship with my my blond brian is tested to the extreeeeem (nearly ripping us apart), my eating disorder goes out of whack, I suddenly decided to quit my job, spent 3 months unemployed, lost about 95lbs, learn to cope with depression, learn to buy a car, became a vegan, left the coven, oh and that is all just the tip of the iceburg.

What did I learn from all of that?: I found my inner strength, I learned to forgive, that change is imminent and constant, being happy is one of the meanings of life, learned I cannot always hide from myself and the world, stagnation is pointless, and most of all, I learned I cannot change the world.

I went through so much, and now I am better prepared to help others. In fact, I went through all kinds of hell for years! But all those experiences were given to me for a reason. Just like now. Each day is a new lesson.

Today I am whistful for some people...like starr & acadiana. I am whistful for austin most of all. I miss that city so much. I am absolutly drawn to it. I never feel quite settled or "right" in san antonio.

I need to be getting out more and "doing." and I am taking those steps. I also need to figure out what type of object to make to bring to the medicine cradle. Also some yummyfoodie goodness. I might wait till this wknd to figure it out. If it's rainy, I'll take a crockpot of veggie stew, or tofu miso. If it's sunny, maybe I will take some cold zuchinni pasta. MmMMM.

I'm in an odd place right now with myself. I'm on an edge....something is about to happen.

pb

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