1st today

Oh what a crappy way to start the day? Wheres the folgers crystals? Shouldn't someone have switched out my coffee and pleasantly surprised me??

Nah, really it sucks. I was feeling really loving this morning and sat on brians lap. I put my arms around him to cuddle up and he told me he had a headache. Now watch what happens:

"Oh poor guy, was it from the beer?" I say.

"yeah, probably. I drank plenty a water when I came home, but eh." he said.

"hmm, well you have had a lot of headaches lately from beer. Um, infact you've been drinking every night since thursday." I say.

"What?" He says offended. "Are you trying to keep tabs on me or something" he pushes away.

"No, I don't want to keep tabs on you;" I respond, "but you know, since we have that rule about s3x when you drink...and well I like to get laid."

"what rule?"

"You know...from that time when you were drunk and wouldn't take no for an answer?" I said.

From there things escalate. Higher and higher. He's upset becuase I won't let him forget he says. It's the first time I have said anything since it happend. He said "what do you call it rape?" I told him, "well, I'm not GOING to call it rape, but I said NO. I said NO repeatedly. You went ahead. Then you freaked out. Then the other night you hurt me pretty badly becusae you couldn't feel anything."

He responds "so it's my fault becuase I couldn't feel anything??"

I say, "ummm yeah, you were DRUNK! You didn't even care! You were waiting for the pain to subside so you could go at it again!"

Anyhow...I'm starting to see that he is a drunk. He keeps encouraging me to drink, even though I'm not supposed to drink with these meds. Even though I am the daughter of an alcoholic. Even though I have an addictive personality. He buys me alcohol so he won't have to drink alone. He can't ever stop with just one beer. NO...not ever. He drinks a beer BEFORE he goes to see his friends, (likely so it looks like he is drinking less). He CAN'T say no to an offer of alcohol. Despite his body giving him pain, poor sleep, and a headache, he continues to drink. He buys alcohol even when we don't have money. He tries to make me feel bad for questioning it.

Anyhow....I'm glad I spoke to my dad last night. I spoke to my mom this morning. She wasn't happy. She had no idea he was drinking. It's a bad sign esp since he was a heroin addict previously.

I'm not saying that he has a drinking problem. I'm not certain I can say that. But I can say that I have a problem with his drinking.

-Perfectbone

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