B has decided to stop yelling at me. Jeff blames himself for me losing my job (I actually resigned then attempted to reciend it...but they declined), Claire says that I am "very very bipolar" and in need of "treatment" and "PLEASE go to Indiana." Robert's quote of the day is always "oh well." And Earl has told me that he is constipated, which is probably more info than I need to know.

B cleared my name today, and why, I'm not sure. I feel like that means he is going to want something from me. You see....I had a warrant out for my arrest. It was a speeding ticket that I didn't finish taking care..and after a certain time it turns into a warrant. Which is problematic becuase my cars registration expired last month, and I can't go renew it if I have a warrant. If I had been caught, not only would I be fined for whatever they caught me doing, but also for expired registration and arrested for the warrant. *sigh* So anyhow, he had all of that cleared out and I don't owe the shmucks in that sorry ass county any more money now. It will go on my record for three years, but hey, there are a few others on it anyhow. I'll survive.

I told jeff not to blame himself for stuff. It's my responsiblity to deal with the consequences of my actions. I was the one that turned in my resignation. I was the one that did such a piss poor assistant that they didn't want to keep me on. I was the one that lied to b about where I was going.

As for claire...well I am handling that right now...trying to explain to her that I am not insane. That I am alright. I'll continue. She does love me. Apparently she has been cryign constantly since I told her I was leaving. But she did not want to weigh down my already pack load of burdons with the idea that she was very very upset.

As for earl...well we had a lovely evening. First thing I did when I got to the hotel was eat. Some frenchfries. Mmm. Then we took a nap. poor guy only slept a few hours during the day. He works the night shift, 11 or 12 to 7 or 8 so he usualy sleeps days. We took a nap then got up for some soda. Watched some tv...had a little s3x, and then I took my ambien and went to sleep. I think he stayed up for a while.

My boss avoided me yesterday and today till about 3. And that time she only came by to see if i had a file for her. Big f*cking whooop.

I know that earl said he used meth for a while back home, & and the last time he used it was 2 weeks ago. I suspect it's likely that he will use it again when given the chance. Oh well. I know he has some permanent effects from it. He twitches like I do, he experiences some slowness every now and then, and a sense that things aren't quite right. And I wouldn't be surprised if his recent "performance anxiety" could have something to do with it too. I really don't care though. It's his life.

SO what about me?? hmm. Well, I had an appoitnment this morning and I saw on the scale that I have lost some weight. Could have something to do with poor appetite and lack of eating. I tried to eat some twizzlers last night...my belly was rumbling...but my mouth was not really wanting to. What else...oh my moods...been fine lately. Nothing really to report.

Now what the heck am I going to do with my life?????

-perfectbone

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