<< Spewing forth from my brain today... >>
2003-09-22, 8:19 a.m.

So over the wknd it was "ok"ish.

Friday we decided to try out a new place named Ginis. Full of great veggi food. Had the mother earth burger and sme rhubarb strawberry pie. Went home...was in quite a state becuase my stomach was jsut too full. Was cleaning out the spare bedroom and sent brian to take some trash out..took the chance to puke it all out. Felt sooo much bettter. Then the toilet started to run..damn it. He went in there...I don't know if he smelled the puke or not. He didn't say anything if he did.

Saturday spent most of the day friggin cleaning.

Can you believe we found a crack pipe in our house?!?! Yes. Neither of us do that stupid crap..brian was cleaning out one of the bathroom closets, we don't have anything in the top of it and he was dusting. He heard something roll and found it.. He hoped it was some sort of craft supply and came to me and said in a weary voice "is this yours?" i looked at it..not really knowing what it was at first..then it hit me. "is that a crack pipe?" I asked. It sure was...glass tube...all tarry and gross. Looks like the former tennants that were nurses...were also crack heads. Go them.

Saturday we had our friends over for wine and most of us ended up too intoxicated. From that night we developed a new rule in my house. Brian cannot have sex w/ me if he is intoxicated. it was terrible. He was so selfish....he came close to raping me. He was so sorry he felt like such a loser when he came to. And I told him that never again could he even touch me if he was drunk. He isn't very good w/ alcohol, which is why he never drinks. Heck I haven't seen him drunk in 2 years! He had a big headache the next day and slept a lot.

However we got our luggage for our trip to scotland. YAY! I am sooo happy about that!!! One month till we leave. So I won't be able to update for abotu a month..but don't think I have fallen off the face of the earth! I'll come back!

On sunday I attempted breakfast but felt soo dirty that it had to go. But strangly I had approval. Dont' know what he was thinking. I asked him "would you be offended if I puke" expecting a yes...but he said "no, if your tummy is that upset, go ahead" whoo hooo! I was surprised.

Spend sunday shopping w/ claire. We went to some great thrift stores. Got great deals! Got some vintage invitations for my engagement party too.

I have taken so many diet pills this morning that it makes it hard to type so sorry if there are a lot of typos today.

I also have something to say today to those that seem to think that EDs are glamourus or cool or something. They aren't Not even close.

First of all Puke stinks. It is one of THE MOST disgusting smells on earth. Secondly...nothing is worse than having chunky puke splashing in the toilet...then yucky nasty puky toilet water splashing back up at you. Your breath stinks...your nose stings....your eyes water...you get hearburn easily...it sucks. It isn't fun. If you don't puke. DOn't friggin start.

And starving. Oh lets go there...there are two realms....1 you starve then binge (sometimes leading to a purge from guilt) or you manage to starve and become a grumpy little bitch. Yes this is true. When I don't eat I get freaky...but yet I do this.

Haveing an ED sucks. I have been this way for 11 years...cycle on...cycle off...everytime I think I am better I am only fooling myself. My mother is has a NOS ed...my sister is 100% COE. And here I am...just like mom and sis..only add in puke.

Eh well....life goes on....

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