2nd today.

Still feeling kind of flat and subdued. But the ephedrine seems to counter it a little. I have that whole "moonwalk" in the head thing going on. As if there was a bouncy thing between my ears.

My dad hasn't called me for a while and I am starting to feel really bad about it. I miss him terribly, but I get tired of doing all of the calling. And sometimes he is difficult to understand. He's an old farm type boy and he mumbles a lot. I need to tell him that I have been having problems...but I worry that he will see it as some sort of charicter flaw. In his eyes I am perfect. I am his little angel. I worry that if I tell him, he will think that I am no better than my brothers...just becuase I get depressed.

I'm hoping I will get through the day, if for no other reason but to conserve my sick time. I have no idea how much I have right now, which is pretty pathetic considering I am the time and leave person my for my area. What a slacker.

Been thinking a lot about love lately since I have been talking to my bud jeff about it. Don't know where on earth I fit into this whole world of love....but ah well...i'm still young right?

kisses,

pb

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